All the Lonely People
by Perdition Raiser
Summary: Dean feels alone and Cas fills the deep hole that has carved it's way through Dean's chest. it only took a little while for the hole to fill up, even after Cas was gone. Song fic i guess? a beatles song. it's sad i'm sorry. Destiel AU.


**So here's a short oneshot that I thought of after I listened to the song "Eleanor Rigby" by the Beatles yesterday. It's kinda sad pls don't hate me. Enjoy :D**

**also, i am reuploading this because i got a PM about not being allowed to use song lyrics in fics, and i don't neceessarily agree but i'm not one for getting in trouble so just listen to the song after or before you read it :D**

Dean Winchester hadn't been to church in a very long time. The last time he remembered sitting in a hard wooden pew as the priest gave a sermon he didn't understand—his feet didn't touch the floor and his mother's heart was still beating.

He was four then.

Now, after fifteen long years of raising his baby brother Sammy and fighting back against the rage his father harbored he was standing in front of the large oak doors of Lawrence, Kansas' only church.

It was small and made of a cold gray stone. Dean wondered why anyone would want to sit in a place that seemed so soulless, even though it was supposed to be a place to pray to the souls it was so terribly deprived of.

Someone got married there yesterday, he didn't know who they were and he really didn't care, he wasn't there to celebrate anything.

He was there because he felt alone.

Dean didn't know what was wrong with him, he had a family, and he'd had a happy life since he was sixteen, when Bobby adopted him and Sam. He knew that he wasn't physically alone; he had Bobby, Sam, Ellen, Jo, Ash and a few others.

But there was emptiness in his chest, whenever he sucked a breath into his lungs he felt that there was a gap, where the air would rush right back out, leaving him breathless and tired. He couldn't place it. He'd gone and visited his mother's grave, he hadn't in a while, and it helped a little but not how he wanted it to.

So he took a chance, and decided to go to church. Alone, when he knew it would be empty save for a nun or alter boy running around in the back somewhere.

He would never attend when there was an actual sermon because everyone knew that Dean Winchester didn't believe in God. He was faithless; all he wanted was a familiar comfort.

Dean had closed his eyes, contemplating whether or not he really wanted to step inside the church or if he just wanted to run away. He decided to do what he'd come here for and opened his eyes.

There was someone there, though, bending down on their knees and sweeping up leftover rice from the wedding with a hand broom.

He wore jeans that strained on his legs as he bent down, his arms were sure and strong with every sweep and the mass of inky black hair that stuck out in every direction swayed and flopped as he moved.

Dean cleared his throat because the man was in front of the doors and he wished to get buy. The man looked up startled, Dean could see that he looked sad, and his face was thin and pale and he seemed very tired. Oh so tired. His eyes were large and wide and so blue that Dean didn't have anything to compare them too. Before Dean could blink the sad demeanor of the man was replaced with a shy but almost forced smile.

"My apologies." The man rumbled out in a voice deeper than Dean's own.

"It alright man, just doing your job right?" Dean said smiling in return.

"Indeed." The man said and then his smile reached his eyes which brightened immensely at Dean's kind words.

Dean nodded and then entered the church. The creak of the doors echoed loudly and the lights were dim, a solitary figure was standing in front of the altar.

Dean realized that is was Father McKenzie. He hadn't seen the priest in so long he didn't realize who he was because of how his age shown noticeably in his face.

The father looked up and upon realizing who it was smiled warmly.

"Dean Winchester, what a strange surprise."

Dean looked down in slight guilt, he hadn't been to see the kind man since he was child, and he was now nineteen.

"Long time no see huh?" Dean said shoving his hands in his pockets and walking closer, "How's priesthood?"

Dean saw the father's shoulders slump as he sighed deeply, "Not many people come to church anymore." He said simply, "Why are you here? I was under the impression that God was not under your small list of beliefs."

"He's not." Dean said with a shrug, "I just needed to find a place where I felt comfortable. Haven't been right up here or in here for a while." The young man said tapping his temple and then his chest.

"Not to sound like I'm questioning my life choices, but why would you come here of all places? It's so cold."

"I used to come here with my mother."

Father McKenzie nodded, "Mary. She was wonderful indeed." Dean agreed and left the father to his sermon with a small smile and huffed as he sat in a pew that was close to the left wall of the church.

Dean leaned back against the pew and looked at the elaborate stain class ceiling. Staring into the eyes of a God he didn't believe in, he wallowed in his own drowning thoughts until some time later the phone in his pocket vibrated against his leg and he looked at it. Sam was worried; he didn't know where Dean had gone.

Dean stood, his knees cracking violently, and walked out of the church. The sound of his heavy boots bounced off of the walls.

As he walked out of the church he saw the beautiful man again, looking out the foyer's window. He looked sad again. _Beautiful? _Dean thought. Yeah, he was beautiful.

"See yah around." Dean spoke up and the man's head whipped around to look at Dean and then he smiled again.

"Goodbye Dean." He said and disappeared back into the church.

Only later while eating dinner with Sammy did he realize that the man knew his name.

Dean hadn't felt as nearly as empty as he had previous to his church visit and he couldn't help but think that it was the beautiful blue eyes man that filled the space in his chest.

Dean went back not long after his first visit. He learned that the man's name was Castiel Novack. _Castiel. _ He was named after an angel, the angel of Thursday. Dean could see why. If he believed in God then Castiel would definitely be his own image of an angel, without a doubt.

They became friends, they only saw one another at the church though, and every visit Castiel seemed happier than before, but also thinner and more tired. Dean wondered why but he never asked, Cas never liked to talk about such things.

Sometimes Dean brought Sammy. Sam liked Cas a lot, they talked about books and things that Dean never bothered with, it made Dean smile and slowly as the visits became more frequent, evolving into an everyday thing, the space in his chest filled up.

One day, almost four months after Dean had become best friends with Cas, Dean decided he was going to tell the beautiful man he loved him, because he did you know. Cas was the only person other than Sammy that Dean ever hugged, and they always made each other smile. Genuinely and happily smile.

Dean and Sam walked into the church to the sound of a soft funeral hymn playing in the back of the church. Father McKenzie was weeping quietly in a pew.

"Father?" Dean asked. "Are you okay? Where's Cas?"

The father turned around, he was holding a small piece of old parchment, and his cheeks were stained with tears. He smiled sadly at the boys. Sam shot Dean a look of worry.

"Oh Dean, I wasn't sure if he had told you, but I guess that he didn't."

"Tell me what?"

"Dean," the father said walking nearer to the boy, "Castiel Novack had leukemia. When you met he was told that he was beyond treatment, he could have died any day, and that particular day was today. He passed this morning, I'm sorry Dean."

"What?" Dean said his voice shaking. This wasn't supposed to happen, too many people had left him in his life and now this? This. This is what shattered the small sprig of faith that had begun growing in Dean's soul.

"This is for you, he told me to pass it along." Father Mckenzie said gripping Dean's shoulder and handing him the note. It was short and sweet.

_Hello Dean, _

_ I suppose that I've died, haven't I? I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I just couldn't, it would have hurt too much for the both of us. I'm going to miss you. I loved you, you know. I promise I did. It was you Dean, that kept me alive for so long, you filled me with more life than I thought I could ever have again. Do not be too sad, it will only take away from everything that was happy before. Remember the happy things will you? Promise? _

_ I don't have any family, have Father McKenzie bring you to my home, you are the person I am leaving my possessions too. Accept for the books, all the books go to Sam. Live a happy life for me Dean, I'll see you when you get here, not too soon I hope, for heaven's sake. Pun intended. Be well Dean, I love you. _

_ Cas. _

Dean fell to the floor on his knees, Sam was the only thing keeping him from hitting the ground with a thud that he knew would sound like defeat and hopelessness. That was Sammy for you, keeping him alive as always.

"Dean?" Sam said after a while and waited until Dean looked up at him with pink cheeks stained with tears. Sam's eyes leaked tears as well.

"Yeah Sammy?" he asked weakly.

"You can have some of the books too, if you want."

Dean smiled and kissed the top of Sam's head.

Dean wasn't lonely anymore, he had Sammy and his family…. And now? He visited to headstones at the cemetery instead of one.

**I'm sorry if this hurt. It hurt me but I wanted to write it sooooo bad. Review please? Also please don't hate me. I know I would if I were you though. One love. **

**Liz. **


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